Our New Life

A few days later and they released us from the hospital. I decided to breastfeed Kaylee, that was such a good way for me to bond with her, it really helped us both to connect. We finally made it home, when I went into the hospital it was cold and everything was dead, but when we made it home spring was springing. Everything was so beautiful and beaming with life, the grass was green, the trees had leaves, the flowers were blooming, and the air was fresh. What a nice way to come home!

I know people are not going to like what I am about to say but this is something I have to get out so you all can know my true feelings. I am not going to lie I was so overwhelmed! For the past two weeks I was being pampered in the hospital, no responsibility but myself. Then all of the sudden bam it hit me like a ton of bricks, not only did I have my 18 month old son to take care of I had a newborn who needed me every minute. Something I was not thinking of while I was pregnant. In the beginning I did have a lot of help thanks to my mom and Chad’s mom. But my son had been away from me for so long that when I made it home he didn’t want anything to do with me, he didn’t want to be at our house at all. That on top of everything else that really made my post-partum worse. I just couldn’t shake this feeling I had, I thought to myself women all over the world was taking care of two or more children why couldn’t I do it. I know this sounds crazy but the only way I made it though all of this was watching 19 kids and counting, that mother was such an inspiration to me.  I would just cry all the time, I didn’t want anyone to come around I almost felt like I just wanted to hide. At the time I just felt like no would see Kaylee like I did, all they would see was her leg and not the precious baby she was. I know that sounds terrible these were my feelings. Deep down I knew that was not true but that was just my hormones getting the best of me .

After a few weeks things got a lot better we all got into a routine, the breastfeeding was going good and my post-partum finally subsided. After that I wanted to show my new baby off, I wanted everyone to see her! She was beautiful! Kenny started to get use to her to. Things were going great and my life was finally perfect again! I had two beautiful, healthy children! Going though this experience has really made me appreciate all the good Lord as blessed me with. I have a new found respect for family’s and children w/ similar situations and my heart and prayers go out to all of the children in this world with much worse situations. I am very lucky because first hand I know it could have been so much worse. Please Lord take care of the children in this world that need you the most!