Before Surgery

Ah...  I finally get a moment to write!  It's been awhile. 

Kaylee's first steps to her new leg begun 2 weeks ago.  She had what is called the super hip/super knee surgery plus an 8 plate put in to straighten the bottom bones on her right leg.  So many feeling I felt weeks leading up to the surgery and during the surgery.  As I'm sure every parent has these same feelings it's not easy at all to put your child through any surgery but putting them through a major surgery knowing possible risks involved was very overwhelming to me!

Lets start at the day before surgery shall we...  After a long drive to West Palm Beach with 2 young children asking are we there yet all the way there we arrived late to her pre-op appointment!  But thank goodness they did not mind they tooks us on back we had lots of paper work to fill out and lots of different doctors to talk and then sign our daughter away to them after they told us all of the risk involved.  It was very scary but I had to in my mind say to myself, don't think about don't think about it Ashley tomorrow will just be another day.  Then the terrible part, Kaylee already knew something was up and she was already telling us "no shots" and "I don't want to wear a cast" well of course they had to draw blood :(  Her screaming they tied her up and start trying to find a vain, that's when I lost it.  I held back my tears for so long but when they started falling I couldn't control them!  I started crying and she was screaming "momma hold me" that was just getting some blood from her I thought how in the world will I have the strengthen tomorrow to put her through this surgery!

After a long day at the hospital then meeting with the PA to go over the surgery and all the risk we decided to take the kids to the beach.  It was really nice they loved it!  It was very cold so I kept telling Kaylee we can't get in the water there might be a shark in there (remember that for later).  We got back to our room after dark and I just kept telling myself just don't think about it.  I was very sick and had huge knots in my stomach, little Kaylee had no idea what the next day would bring.  I didn't sleep much that night but I did get on facebook and read all the messages and all the post of people praying for her, that really made the night better for me just knowing there were so many prayers being said for her.  I just told myself there is nothing at all to worry about b/c I know God will be right there holding her hand the whole time.  I finally turned in to try to get some sleep but it was very hard, I just held her in my arms, brush the hair off of her face and kissed her forehead all night with tears rolling down my cheeks. 

The next morning came very early we had to be at the hospital at 6:00 a.m.  The ride to the hospital was hard but something came over me like I was not myself I had a new strength come over me.  All the prayers were working and so many times I had doubt if God would really show up for me, in that moment I felt his presents!  "In Christ who strengthens me" nothing has been more true then that to me!  We arrived at St. Mary's Children's Hospital 6:00 on the dot and they took us right on back, me thinking hopefully this will go by fast now that I'm a little prepared, let just say it didn't.  After some silly juice and 2 hours later it was time.  They dressed me in a white suit and hair neat and told me to walk her on back.  I'm feeling sick thinking about it but that was the longest walk ever!  The nurse was talking to me the whole time we were walking but I didn't hear a word she was saying, it was like I was in a tunnel.  My mind just went blank, then we entered the OR. White big bright lights and dual metal (surgical utensils) was all I seen they told me where to lay her keep in mind she was still awake, I laid her on the table her looking in my eyes they told me I could give her a kiss.  Oh I cry thinking about it, so hard!  then they put the gas mask over her nose and mouth her still looking in my eyes 3 breaths later she feel asleep.  They told me to tell her goodbye...  I couldn't leave her!  Event after I walked away I turned around and went back to her I just wanted to pick her up and run out the room, but I didn't.  I walked out crying like never before the only person I saw was Dr. Paley he put his hand on my shoulder and said she'll be alright.  I walked out of the OR hall seen Chad my husband all I could do was hug him and cry.  But the hardest part to me was over or so I thought I didn't get to see her till 12 hours and 30 mins later.
            
                                              Kaylee the night before surgery